Fuck’s sake. Is it even possible to be this hot? Poland’s own Monika Pietrasinska Boccara says yes. And…well, quite frankly, I’ll believe any word that comes out of her damn mouth.
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So you’ve finally waited around long enough for some poor sap of a girl’s self-confidence to dwindle to the point where she’s considering having sex with you. Congratulations. The next step is even harder, though: Actually following through with it. Not sure what goes where? How to do perform a certain position? You could consult the Karma Sutra, the nice instructional tome that’s been around for thousands of years in a dialect you’ll barely understand with crude illustrations. Or you could just nicely view these insanely hot women pantomiming the whole thing. Your call.
(via FHM)
Poking around under the hood
So would you rather your wife grabbed you a nice sandwich while you poked around under the hood? Or dressed like this and lended you a hand? (Waiting to be poked?)
Heidi Klum is back on the market
Well, now that the German ubermodel is a single gal once again, I can post up this whopping 100-image gallery without any qualms whatsoever.
Not that adultery fantasies are offsetting to me per se, but I mean… come on, the guy’s got lupus. I’m referring to Heidi’s ex-husband Seal of course. And hell, don’t feel too bad; sure, he may have lupus but he’s also got the voice of a mellifluous demigod, the unforgettable opening to “Kiss From a Rose,” where he does some weird, yet captivating chant, and the fact that he got to bust inside of Heidi on more than one occasion. Now enjoy these one hundred images.
Jabba the Hutt of Squirrels
“Mah bukee, wanta dah moole-rah? Wonkee chee sa crispa con Squirrel Greedo? Yanee dah poo noo carboniteon assholeo!”
Translation: Human, why do you poke my grossly swollen fatbelly and mock my corpulence? And what have you done with Squirrel Greedo? I wish to encase your asshole housecat in a custom-made sheet of Carbonite, then we shall see who is the one that laughs.